You're My Kinda Stupid

Posted on Sat Jul 30th, 2022 @ 7:37pm by Kindra Graham & Alden Loxley

Mission: Twas The Twelve Days of Travel
Location: Alden's Quarters
Timeline: November 14th

As Alison slowly recovered, growing less communicative (at least with him) as the days passed, Alden developed a habit for visiting the port shuttle. Not something he hid from the others, but out of respect for his business partner and friend, a late evening kinda deal. He had the feeling that Ali was seeking her own comfort with Jonas, but he didn't ask, and Jonas didn't tell, and so long as Ali had someone to care for her, Alden could deal. Mostly.

A chasm had broken open between them, and Alden was grieving that loss, whilst Kindra hurt for both of them. Together, Kindra and Alden immersed themselves in the moment and in each other. Every time Alden left her shuttle, Kindra resolved to have a serious conversation with him about… whatever this was between them. And every time he came back, she put that conversation off, indulging in the escape of the moment. A part of her feared that if the rock-solid bonds between Alden and Alison could be broken, what did that mean for Alden and her?

But tomorrow the 'Echo would land on Three Hills, and Kindra had a client appointment. They needed to talk, and it couldn't be put off any longer. Kindra stood outside the door to Alden's quarters and knocked on the upper hatch, thinking that maybe it would be more productive to talk there.

He felt a stab of guilt - unjustified and unwanted, but present nonetheless - as the hatch opened to his touch and he caught Kindra's scent. He'd been lying on his bunk, fully clothed, thinking about his mutual history with Alison. Alison and he had never enjoyed a carnal relationship, though they'd occasionally come close to it, and Alden had often wondered if that was part of the problem. He respected his friend too much to go there, but his opinion and hers with regards sexuality and its literal ins and outs were very different. Reminded him of Abigail, but that blurry line was something he hadn't wished to explore a second time. Too many emotional complications in his own head and heart, nothing to do with Alison's gorgeous self.

"Hey," Alden said, shifting himself from prone to standing in one smooth move and putting bare feet to the cool floor. A downward cant of his head tilted upwards to regard Kindra with inquisitive curiosity, his voice caught with concerned responsibilty. "Everything alright?"

"Everything is..." Kindra shivered nervously. "I, uh, I'm not so sure." Despite the tension in her body, Kindra sat gracefully on the bed next to Alden. She looked around his quarters and recalled the only other time she'd visited his personal space. That conversation had ended with Alden rejecting her - the first time. Then Alden confronted her with the letter she'd written to him on Pelorum, and a long-overdue heart-to-heart, but just in the moment she thought he'd give her a second chance, he rejected her again. Kindra had begun to make peace with his decision when Alden unexpectedly changed his mind on the 'Echo's bridge after Ghost. But then the events of Li Shen's – the specifics never shared with Kindra – had their devastating impact on both Alden and Alison, and Alden kept his distance. Kindra thought he'd changed his mind again. But then, five nights after leaving Li Shen's, he'd slipped into her shuttle and she'd welcomed him eagerly.

Kindra clasped her hands tightly together in her lap and swallowed hard. Truth was, with all that back and forth, she had almost no idea where she really stood with Alden. It might be he only wanted her for sex, and this conversation could end with a last and final rejection. And yet, communication was the foundation of any relationship, and if she and Alden couldn't talk about important matters, it was best to know now. Studying her bare feet on the cool deck next to his, she said, "Echo lands at Three Hills tomorrow, and we need to talk. About what happened between you and Alison. About you and me and what this is between us now, and what it maybe could be. About my vocation, and how it might affect our relationship if…" Her voice broke, and she took a deep breath and looked up into his dark blue eyes. "If a relationship with me is what you want?"

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Love was complicated. Family, friends... and the other kind. The kind that consumed you in a way so warmly fierce and wonderful that you felt the very depths of your heart and soul link to another. Forever? Kinda. But not always in the way you wanted. The Verse was interesting like that. Just when you thought your little corner of life was perfect, it all got flipped upside down and right-side left. Alden stood while Kindra sat, then slowly, as she knitted her fingers tightly together, he retook his seat beside her and slipped his own, way bigger, hand over hers. Quiet, attentive and patient.

Love was complicated. And he'd been around long enough to at least know not to assume one thing when it might very well be something else. Kindra had told him she loved him, and left. He'd gotten over that, eventually. Yet, here they were again, re-dancing that old magical dance. What did she want now? Her career or him, or some kinda both? Did she love him now? Heart and soul, real-deal love? Or was he that 'dashing ship captain' that got away? Alden sat quiet and listened, his body close to hers sat there on his bunk. He found himself thinking, past the emotional turmoil and curiosity...

... That this seemed like a lot of things to talk about in one day...

"Alison and I disagree about how best to help Daiyu," Alden said, his voice quietly serious. "And the danger she may or may not present to all of us. Ali makes a fair point, I can see it, I just..." Can't act on it, he finished, internally. Topic change, he decided, best way forward for now. "Your vocation is yours. I could never - would never - ask you to give up what makes you, you." No matter how much I wanted to. That just wasn't Alden's way. "But I don't know or really understand how it would work," he continued, giving Kindra's hands a firm squeeze as his voice remained steady and hope backlit his gaze. "If we had a relationship."

"Alison told me that much within an hour after I first boarded the 'Echo," she said with sad resignation. As a companion, she had years of training and experience in human behavior, psychology, and a wide range of liberal arts and science. It hurt that Alden chose not to confide in her. Over the last few nights when he'd slid into her bed there'd been moments when she had the uneasy feeling that he thought sex was her raison d'etre - her reason to exist. She believed Alden knew a companion - that she herself - was so much more than that. While it was deeply validating to hear him say he would never ask her to give up her vocation, she had a vague suspicion his understanding of what her profession entailed might be very different than hers.

"I imagine if we were in a relationship, it'd be complicated. We'd need to spend a fair amount of our time together communicating in words. Probably we'd need to have some difficult conversations, and we'd need to be open and honest with each other. There'd be compromises. But, isn't that the way all relationships are, not just romantic ones?" Her gaze was nervous and hopeful, and she adjusted the joining of their hands so their fingers interlaced. "I want to try. And if you want that too, I have faith in us that together, we can figure out how to make it work."

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He couldn't tell which hurt more, Kindra's sorrowful tone or the resignation in her voice, but Alden took a moment to turn his face away and breathe. In. Out. Inhale. Exhale. Turn back around. "You and Ali have an easier time of talking 'bout that topic, I imagine," he said, no malice in his own tone. "I just... I needed to not talk about it all the time. Couldn't change anything the last eleven days, anyways." It hadn't made sense to keep talking about something they had no way to currently fix, conversations like that just drove him crazy and not-talking with Kindra had been far more helpful for his own sanity. That Kindra would be hurt by that hadn't honestly occured to him.

Complicated. There that word was again. Right back in his face. Alden winced, visibly and uncomfortably, then gently freed himself and held his hands up in a genuine, and passively offered, surrender. "If we were in a relationship," he stated, soft tone slowly marking out his words. "Hell, even if we weren't, I can only love one woman at a time and I don't fool around. I 'ppreciate your sit'ation's different, career involving relationships 'tween others - men and women - and all. Honestly, I'm trying to wrap my head around it, and I don't know how I feel. That's my truth right now. Not you, but the Companioning. Can you understand?"

She nodded, grateful he was willing to talk this out. "I always want you to share your truth, Alden, even if it's hard to hear." Though not an uncommon approach to couple relationships, his short statements contained a lot to unpack. Kindra's eyebrows knit together in concentration, parsing out the imbedded expectations. "I think at least part of what you're saying is that you need monogamy and faithfulness."

Slowly, testing the words in her head before speaking, she said, "I also need faithfulness from the person I love. To me, that means honesty. And infidelity, to me, is about lying and withholding the truth." She chewed her lower lip, thinking on references Alden had made to her vocation. "I think we should talk about what we mean by 'Companioning' to make sure we're on the same page. For instance, I care about my clients, but I don't love them any more than a doctor loves her patients. Service to a client is not a relationship."

In Alden's experience, people saw the Verse and the folks in it through their own personal filters. This varied from Core to Border to Rim and beyond, though mostly due to the person's own internal compass, wants, desires and experiences rather than being based on intelligence alone. Wisdom, perhaps, was a better word for it, though he didn't consider himself anywhere near as wise as Kindra in most arenas. He waited for her to mull his words, then winced as she spoke. "I didn't say that, no," he correctly gently. "I said what I bring to a serious relationship is monogamy and faithfulness." There was a difference, an important one and she had to see that, right?

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Again, he listened first before considering his own words in response. "I guess the key issue for me," Alden noted, calmly and without malice. "Is what constitutes 'servicing a client." That covered a multitude of options, and 'infidelity' to him very well might feature in there somewhere too. If they called this a relationship, how would he deal with that knowledge that Kindra was presumably enjoying sexual intercourse with some of her clientelle. And did he have the right to complain about it? This was an internal emotional conflict he'd entertained since they'd first had sex together way back when, and his own argument either way might surprise her. What Alden needed first, however, was Kindra's own point of view.

"Oh." She thought on his gently-made correction. Monogamy and faithfulness were what he would want to offer, not necessarily what he would expect from her. Abruptly, she began to understand from his point of view the sort of hurt this potential relationship could cause him, and paled. "Oh. I… uh, I see." She didn't want to hurt him. Probably it was terribly selfish of her to want him the way she did, to want a relationship. And yet…

And yet, Alden was trying very hard to understand her. "Servicing a client is fulfilling the client's need. Intellectually, emotionally, or physically. Uh…" It was harder than she expected to explain in a succinct and general way what service actually encompassed. "Every client is different, so every service is different. I suppose the question isn't about the sort of client who wants to talk about their political history research for three hours over dinner." She met Alden's gaze. Honesty was her faithfulness. "I could describe some recent clients, and specific physical service I provided, if that would help with, uh, clarification? Or we could discuss the offers I've received from potential clients on Three Hills."

Well, Alden figured, Kindra's initial reaction didn't bode particularly well? He'd at least begun to learn to keep his mouth shut and listen awhile though, so maintained his silence while she worked through her thoughts in real time. The result wasn't exactly what he'd hoped for, but honesty was better than the beautiful lie at this point, and he needed to hear it. Even if Kindra felt the need to spell it out somewhat more than he needed.

Every service is different. Well now, didn't that frame things just a little differently? Almost like folks were vehicles needing to be attended to, examined and mended. Which, he supposed, they kind were in fairness. It was an odd perspective in that moment, staring at the fine, smart and well-to-do young lady afore him and considering Kindra's internal outlook. He rallied slowly as she came to the end of her question. If it was one.

"Uh, yeah..." Alden sounded confused because he was. Surely it was obvious that he could care less who or what she talked about with her paying clients? That was their business. Just as was any kind of mental-vocal doctoring Kindra enacted, training no doubt capable of assisting in matters of the mind and ego, he supposed. "No." A simple rejection of her offer. "Ac'ually I'm good with not knowing any details on that 'count. Thanks."

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A small, distressed sound escaped her lips. The confusion in Alden's face - she was botching this completely. Kindra cast her gaze around his personal space, feeling like she was missing something important. Something that was important to him, but not significant enough to her to realize it was important. A key issue for him was what she did physically with her clients, but he didn't want to know the details. So... now what? What was it she wanted him to understand?

"I choose my clients, and usually a potential client's offer indicates what they want from the experience. When I was newly licensed, my contracts outlined sexual parameters in specific detail. My current standard contract gives me complete autonomy to decide during the appointment how best to serve the client's needs. So, what I do with a client is up to my discretion." She thought about the clients she had seen in the last few months, and what they had in common. "More than half of my clients are women. A woman with wealth and in a position of power... often is without anyone she can turn to for comfort. When I'm able to meet that need, I feel a sense of, well, accomplishment. It's fulfilling to me to know I've facilitated a pleasurable interlude in her life."

He wondered what Kindra was looking for as she seemed to seek a missing item in the space about them both. Or did she think the answer to his apparent (from her point of view) cluelessness was written on his walls, or hidden amongst his personal items? Alden didn't ask, he simply waited to see where this was about to go next and wondered just how complex Kindra considered him to be.

Uh-huh. More explanation. Alden frowned, bit back the first thing he'd been about to say and tried to figure out what was so difficult about Kindra's situation right here and now. "I ain't trying to change you or your job," he stated, for the record. "I'm not looking to control your who, whats or whys." He was kinda considering this whole 'more than half my clients are women' sentence though and following his mind to the other 40 or whatever percent. There was no pretty way to say it, but Kindra was definitely dancing about the situation real fine. Did she just not see it?

"That's real great," Alden said, finally. "I get it. You're providing a service, making people happier. Being paid nicely for it too." He pushed on, then, ignoring the little voice yelling 'no!" in his head. "But, how would you feel if part of my job wasn't just delivering goods or helping folks with their transportation problems, but having sex with women for payment in kind?"

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Relieved, was her first thought. "Your job is delivering goods and transporting folks, and if recent events are any example, it also entails risking your life. Whit must have paid you extremely well to take him to Ghost and for you and Jonas to waltz him right into a reaver nest to get Cooper. And even though I don't know the details, it's not hard to guess he had something to do with what happened on Li Shen's and you sided with Whit against Alison over it. By comparison, if sex for pay was part of your job, I wouldn't be afraid your work could get you killed."

Alden raised an eyebrow at the myriad assumptions involved in Kindra's observational commentary. "I don't ask about your fees," he stated, firmly and a little tersely. "Don't ask after mine." A brief, loaded pause. "You're far safer not knowing the details on that one, but it's been reported to the Alliance. Outpost hit by Reavers, comms messed up by the peculiarities of Ghost's nature... Pretty sure no one knew what we was headed into there until we landed. As for Li Shen's? We were just trying to get Daiyu some help." He didn't really want to get into that topic either, not with anyone. Alden frowned at the 'sex as part of your job' comment, and tried to figure out what to say about that while he studied Kindra's features.

Kindra's eyes narrowed. She had explained how important honesty was to her, and withholding the truth was just as manipulative and deceptive as a straight-up lie. The difference was, the liar didn't have to remember his lies to avoid getting caught. Surely Whit knew what awaited them on Ghost, otherwise, how did Whit know Cooper needed rescuing? And whatever details about Li Shen's Alden was intentionally leaving out were entangled in the reason Alison left them. Left her.

But the meaning of faithfulness - to Alden's understanding – was the current topic. Not what faithfulness meant to her. But that conversation might be moot if Alden decided he couldn't have a relationship with her. Kindra took a shaky breath and released it slowly, then canted her head to look into his deep blue eyes. "If you wanted a relationship with another woman, I would feel jealous, I can't deny it. But I'd still want you to be honest about your feelings. If a woman desired you and offered to pay you for sex, and you agreed, I could accept that. In both cases you'd be having sex with another person, but the emotions and motivation are different."

"I know you're not trying to change how and what I do in my line of work. Maybe I see it differently because of my training. When I'm engaged in my vocation as a Companion, I think only of my client's needs. But when I'm with you it's totally different." Kindra took Alden's hand and blushed. "With you I can pursue my own needs and be myself, just Kindra. What we do together feels like an expression of emotion and sharing, and physically it's… just so good. When I'm with you, I'm making love with the only person I truly desire. The person I love."

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If a woman desired you and offered to pay you for sex, and you agreed, I could accept that.

Well, considered Alden, that was unexpected. He honestly wasn't sure what to do with that revelation. Not that Kindra would have to ever worry on this account, since it simply led right back around to his initial revelation - his monogamous nature. Silence told the story of internal conflict on how else he could phrase such a situation and personal viewpoint without sounding like he was repeating himself as Kindra gazed into his eyes and Alden mentally kicked himself. Why was it always so damn complicated? Seemed so unfair.

"You're kinda missing my point," Alden said, eventually. Why did he feel so stupid? Was it lack of a formal education, his upbringing in the Border or just the way a Companion regarded the Verse somewhat differently to other folks, it seemed. "Or mebbe I'm not smart enough to explain it right," he offered, throwing that out there in case she felt insulted. How could he phrase this so she'd understand his viewpoint right?

When I'm with you, I'm making love with the only person I truly desire. The person I love.

As Kindra held his hand and professed to love him, Alden's ability to speak vanished into the air round them. His face potrayed some emotion between confusion, happiness and frustration, his body tensed, adrenaline and hormones working their mystical magic and he internally cursed the Verse for toying with him like this again.

"If you love me," Alden said, dodging stating his own feelings for the moment. "Why do you still want to have sex for money?" It was a blunt - harsh? - question, but a viewpoint he was trying to understand despite his own serious conflict with this whole issue.

She had explained why she wanted to work in detail but hearing him say it like that made it sound like he thought of her work as whoring. She got to her feet and turned away; a flood of emotions making it impossible to speak. If Alden thought of her as a prostitute, then... a relationship between them could not work if he thought so little of her. After long moments. Kindra made a conscious effort to relax her fists and blink her vision clear, then turned back to look at him. Calmly and slowly, she repeated herself. "What I do as a Companion with a client is So. Much. More. than sex for money. Sex is only one possible aspect of service, like the tea ceremony. What I want is to help my clients."

"You are an intelligent man, Alden." Kindra sank onto the bed and sighed. "Thing is, I thought… after we were together on the bridge, and then when you started coming to my shuttle at night. I thought… I felt like it was more than sex, more than friendship. To me, it felt like the beginning of a relationship. But maybe I'm the stupid one… just too inexperienced in romantic relationships to know better." She folded her hands together and rubbed the calloused tips of her fingers together. "I think… I don't really understood your question. Maybe the answer you want is more about feelings, not logic and explanation. Are you saying that it will be hurtful to you if or when I have sex with a client, and you want to understand how I can… hurt you that way, if I love you?"

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It hadn't been fair - and Alden knew it - ignoring that L-word. But needs must. Even, he chided himself, when it made her cry? Or close to it. No.. that was too far.

Face screwed up in an overt admission of guilt, he stood awkardly and waited for Kindra to compose herself as she wanted. He knew (or thought he did) it was best to let her feel her feelings before he pushed for further interaction, physical or verbal. Saying something dumb right now would only make things worse. Still, it was tough to stand there and wait.

Wondering still about that L-word, however, occupied Alden's time utterly and completely until Kindra turned back. Then those tears in her eyes brought him instantly and soberly back into the here and now with a hefty punch to the heart. Dumbass, he cursed himself, and held out his hands, palm up in case that simple act of touch was any comfort against the pain he'd obviously caused.

Yes, he thought as he watched Kindra sit down on his bed, I know sex is only one aspect. But it's The Only Aspect that breaks my heart. Alden didn't say that, figuring he'd done enough damage already. Instead, he allowed her time to process and come back at him, trusting her wiser mind and training to bring this back into the realm of sensible and calm.

"I don't know 'bout that," Alden admitted, honestly. Alison. Kindra. Daiyu. "Current events ain't speaking highly of my intelligence." But he listened as the Companion continued to explain, while feeling somewhat useless and definitely frustrated. Then came the comment about logic and explanation and, as his hackles raised a little in offensive defence, he figured he was truly lost in this conversation.

"Most folks don't figure sex to be so complicated," Alden finally said, pain cutting his words some. "When you love someone, you often look to be exclusive. But mebbe on account of my being illogical and incapable of explanation, you thought I was just wanting to save credits and take advantage of your skills?"

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She stared at Alden openmouthed, then looked away. Wisps of unacknowledged half-thoughts along those lines had prickled at the back of her mind since they'd started this conversation as Alden evaded the question of if he wanted to be in a relationship with her, and she'd begun to realize her belief they were already in a relationship was not shared by him. "I didn't think that until just now, when you said it."

She didn't want to believe he'd only been using her for sex, taking advantage of her feelings for him, but it was an explanation for his behavior that fit painfully well. When they'd talked after he found her letter, he'd made it clear he was not interested in a romantic relationship between them. Because, he seemed to be saying now, he could only love someone who kept their body exclusive to him. Alden never said he'd changed his mind, only that they'd talk about the 'rules' later. So, her heart crumbling into pieces right now – that was all on her. She hadn't just tortured herself with this conversation, but Alden too, and that was no way to treat the man she loved, even if he didn't return her feelings. "I'm sorry, Alden. I'm such an idiot."

A drop splashed on her hand, and Kindra hastily wiped her eyes with her sleeve. So much for her dignity. She thought of that evening she spent with Alison – their last real time together - after what happened between her and Alden on the bridge. Kindra'd told Alison she could give up being a Companion for Alden. But she'd thought of that as something to consider after they'd been together for some time and reached a long-term understanding. Not now, when all they had, maybe, was potential for a relationship. Not when he didn't feel the same about her. Not when she had so much to lose if he changed his mind again - a week or a month or a year later.

She still didn't know where she stood with Alden. "I'm sorry for being so… so dense. But please. Please Alden, I need you to be honest and not try to spare my feelings." She swallowed hard, and measuring her words, tried to cut to the key questions it felt like they'd been dancing around this whole conversation. "Can you be in a romantic relationship with a Companion? Do you just want me for uncomplicated sex, or do you want a relationship with me?"

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Tears were hard to watch when you cared about someone, but Alden's heart was wrapped about his head and all upside-down and backwards at this point. Kindra's emotions were on display, raw and overt, while his swirled like an underlying up-and-coming storm of frustrating confusion seemingly struggling to keep up with the conversation.

Far as he could figure, Kindra wanted a relationship combined with a career full of every kind of relationship, and while Alden could understand wanting both a job and a romantic partner, it wasn't quite as simple for him to reconcile Kindra's job with loving someone. There were questions. But each one seemed to hurt her more and the very last thing he wanted was to beat her down one query at a time. Keep it simple, his brain yelled at him, and like a deer in the relationship headlights, Alden tried.

"You ain't stupid," he said, a self-effacing smile grabbing the corners of his mouth helplessly. "And I can see I'm hurting you by trying not to."

A soft sigh followed as Alden tried to choose the few words that might not screw this up completely, if that was still an option.

"I want to love and be loved." Not 'complicated sex', but the real deal. All in. Every gorram day.

"I want to invest in loving you. I do." But....

"I don't know how to reconcile loving you or having a relationship and the whole Companion package deal." Damn, why was this so tough?

"And I can't ask you to give that up for me. I won't."

Was that worse? He had a feeling that was worse...

Those heartfelt and honest words from Alden's lips were exactly what Kindra needed to hear. Her hopes and fears, wound together when she climbed down the ladder into Alden's personal space, had twisted tighter and tighter since this conversation began, now abruptly relaxed. She took his hands in hers. "Alden," her voice was husky with just-shed tears and emotion, "To love you and be loved by you is what I want, and now that I know you want that too, I know we can figure things out."

"To hear you say you wouldn't ask me to give up being a Companion, that means so much to me." She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and gazed into his deep blue eyes. "For you, Alden, I would choose to give up my career as a Companion. But," she winced at the necessary caveat but pressed on, "there are practical complications. If I give up my Companion license, I can't just get it back later if... if things don't work out between us. And there'd be my immediate lack of income to consider. I haven't seen any clients since I came on board."

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A light frown creased his features as Kindra held his hands, but Alden saw the wisdom in keeping his mouth shut for the moment. Listen. Let her calm down and rebalance those overt emotions. Don't say something stupid and ruin whatever you did right. Could they 'figure things out' as Kindra put it? He didn't know, but for now she seemed happier and that was definitely a Good Thing. His own perspective was less certain than Kindra's, however. 'Figuring things out' didn't strike Alden as a great place to start a new relationship and it send echoes of memory back into dark places.

And there it was. The 'but' he'd suspected was due.

Alden allowed his gaze to maintain that steady, sincere gaze that Kindra had opened between them. No wince, no tears, no argument, no rules. Just a sense of... what? Deja vu? Paranoia? No... just simple concern perhaps. He wondered what she wanted him to say beyond those words already spoken, so lingered in comfortable silence a moment or three longer.

"Those decisions are yours," he said, simply. "No future is certain." A wry smile, and Alden squeezed Kindra's hands warmly. It was a little overwhelming, the questions, the talk of potential career changes and the swift decision-making (or at least, his brain qualified, decision-positioning). He hoped that sense of conversational drowning wasn't obvious in his expression, because it wouldn't be a fair representation of his true emotions, just an inability to process what was going on around now.

"My decisions impact you, I want to be able to make them with the knowledge of how you honestly feel." Kindra thought of the conversation they'd had after he found her letter, especially what little he'd said about his wife, what Kindra had surmised, and the better understanding she had now of Alden's feelings about her career as a companion. Kindra saw the parallels that he might draw between his wife's vocation and hers. But as curious as she was about Alden's wife, now was probably not a good time to bring up Anouk.

"Then I'll deal with the impact, once your decisions are made," Alden said, his gaze serious and level, backlit by a glimmer of hope.

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Kindra had hoped Alden would have something to say about the practical consequences. "I could stop accepting clients, or only take clients who don't expect a sexual aspect to their service." Her income would be small or non-existent, surely he understood that. "My yearly exam and license renewal is in about four months, so I have at least until then to make that decision." There was her inheritance from Walter to consider, but besides giving up her license to get it, she'd have to go to Persephone where she had no doubt her stepbrother would be waiting. "You have a business to run, keeping Fortune's Echo flying. I have some credits saved, but you'll need to find someone else to rent the shuttle, and I'll need to figure out another line of work."

"Alden, I didn't know how you felt about my work, so I made a client appointment on Three Hills. A woman of middle years, business owner, meet at a hotel, overnight stay, lucrative," Kindra summarized, then chewed her lower lip. "One last client would ease my money concerns, and I'll show you the client's profile if that makes a difference. But I can cancel. I will cancel the appointment if you need me to."

His right hand reached out, index finger extended upwards to be placed on Kindra's fine lips, if very briefly. Sssshhhh... said the gesture, silently. And if there was an undercurrent of harshness perceived by said motion, it would either be worsened or bettered by the kiss than followed once that softly placed digit was moved aside.

Alden lingered on Kindra's mouth, his left hand reaching downwards in a need to feel the curvature of her hips and rest there in what he subconsciously hoped was comforting. Supportive. As he stepped back from that brief, but gently passionate embrace, he canted his head slightly and adopted an expression that remained optimistically hopeful.

Clients and rules and choices and schedules could wait. They had time, right? Time to figure whatever this would be out.

"I don't want you to change everything," he whispered, as if speaking loudly would shatter that brief moment of peace in his heart. "I don't want you to change yourself for me. The trust issues are mine to reconcile, not yours to explain or justify. You were you when I met you, and you need to do you however you wish to." He paused for one breath, then levelled his gaze on Kindra's and added. "I love you just the way you are."

Alden's calming finger on her lips, his gentle, passionate kiss, the strength of his presence, relaxed her racing thoughts and reassured the internal fears that drove her to try to figure out solutions to all of the challenges ahead right away. She didn't need to change everything all at once. They would work it out together. They had time.

Joy sang in her heart at his words. I love you just the way you are.

She leaned in and caressed the shell of his ear with the fingertips of her right hand then cupped his jaw. "I swear I have never said these words to another person, Alden." Her left hand ran along his side, pulling him almost into an embrace with just enough space between so she could gaze up into his eyes. "I love you. Just the way you are."

She kissed him, gently at first, then with more urgency. As much as she had needed to talk, now she needed to communicate with Alden in a much more physical way.

Alden let Kindra lead, his thoughts vanishing in favour of their closeness, their touch, every detail of sense and sound and sensitivity in all the right kinda ways. Deep down in the currently silenced rationally thinking part of his brain a note had been made of that full stop. The pause between those first three words and the latter five. That was significant, his brain knew, but it couldn't linger there right now. Words would wait. Here and now Kindra was fully focused on him, and vice versa, so all those fancy Latin phrases, difficult questions and deeper thinking mattered not at all.

She was his, and he was hers and whoever else had intentions of acquiring Kindra's time in exchange for credits... yeah, he wasn't thinking about that. Thoughts focused on her softly firm caramel skin, all those luscious curves, insistent mutual encouragement and where Kindra's encouraging, experienced fingers were moving next.

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