I Will Walk With My Shadow Flag

Posted on Fri Jul 23rd, 2021 @ 3:54am by Daiyu & Alden Loxley & Kindra Graham

Mission: Back in Black
Location: Fortune's Echo Cargo Bay Under the Catwalk
Timeline: After 'The Garden of Echo'

He'd left a plate of food outside Daiyu's bunk an hour or so ago, and that had gone now, so Alden figured she'd eaten at least. There'd been some conflict earlier, but rather than pry into the individual opinions of who and what and why, Alden decided to focus on the more interesting problem here.

Food. Or the formal beginnings of such with the definite optimism of room for growth and the hungry expectations of fresh fruit and veggies at some future point in their mutual journey.

Both crates of supplies, plants and feed had all been neatly laid out in rows and he'd gotten things started by building a little fence with the pallet wood to delineate where Daiyu's garden space ended and the cargo bay proper began. Now, with a bright smile and friendly determination, Alden summoned the young woman from her cabin with a call to arms.

"Daiyu! I have a plant emergency! Can you please help?"

The hatch to Daiyu's bunk slid open as her head popped out. "Did they die? Did you let Chloe touch them? I warned you!"

Kindra walked down the steps into the cargo hold and took a seat to one side of the bottom step, knees partly pulled up to her chest. She had gone over the previous attempt at setting up Daiyu's garden in her mind, and still wasn't quite sure what had gone wrong. Daiyu and Chloe had both been reluctant, but Daiyu agreed to Kindra asking Chloe for help, and Chloe agreed to help. And then… it all went wrong for reasons she didn't fully understand, but it felt like Kindra's fault. This time she'd offer to help, and wait for Daiyu's clear consent.

Looking back and forth, Daiyu saw Alden and Kindra but nothing in hand to indicate any sort of emergency. The truth dawned on her. "You tricked me," she murmured.

"Only a tiny bit," countered Alden with a waggle of his curved palm in the air between them. "And they will die if we don't fix this now. We have to look after these plants properly, right?"

He was aware of the concept, but this means of growing hadn't been something he'd ever explored before. Maybe considered in long nights out on a longer run, not seriously. Took up too much time, too much extra for him to worry about. Which was exactly why it was perfect for Daiyu. "You're in charge of these plants, Mei Mei," Alden pointed out. "You tell me how you want me to help, and I'll help."

He cast a friendly glance in Kindra's direction to let her know that her help was on his to-do list, should his own be accepted.

"I'll only stay and help if you want me to, Daiyu," said Kindra. Something about this situation reminded her of gentling a colt as a girl on Liddesdale ranch. Recalling what Daiyu had said to her about the plants, she said, "The plants need you. I can't hear their voices as you do."

Daiyu fixed Kindra with a hard stare as if trying to determine whether she was being mocked or not. "How do you know about their voices?"

"You told me about their voices." Kindra remained seated, worried she'd already said the wrong thing when she was trying to make a sincere gesture of help and friendship. "I can't hear them myself, that's true enough. But the 'verse is full of wonders I can't hear, or see, smell, taste, or touch. That doesn't make those things any less real. So Daiyu, if you say the plants have voices, I believe you."

"Everything that's alive has a voice of some kind," noted Alden with a friendly authority. "All things from the lil critters to bees to horses, don't see why plants wouldn't want to be heard too." He leant against the bulkhead and regarded both young women. "Now, Daiyu, we ready to get some work done here or we giving up before we get started?"

Daiyu stared at them, her eyes going from mistrustful to worried. "Show me what you did."

Alden indicated the laid-out kit and stores with a gentle flourish of his right arm. "I unpacked everything," he said. "The plants are safe right now, but we're gonna need to hook everything up so that they can live and grow. Look," he cast a warm gaze towards the concerned young gardener and continued. "I even made you a fence so everyone knows which bit is yours." He handed Daiyu a piece of metal. "And I made you this," he added. On the rectangle were the words 'Daiyu's Echo Garden' hand-painted in friendly green letters.

Clearly, Daiyu was important to Alden. The preparations Alden had made with the garden were imbued with loving detail down to the sign with plant-green letters. His effort spoke of real caring and thoughtfulness – with a big-brother sort of vibe. Alden had gone to jail to protect Daiyu (though what had happened on Santo was still unclear to Kindra). And yet, Alison had indicated the current rift between the long-time partners was caused by Daiyu. And just before this when Kindra, Chloe, and Alison offered to help Daiyu setup the garden she reacted like a spoiled, uncooperative child, then threw a tantrum because reasonable adults didn't accept her childish abuse. Kindra wanted to understand what was going on with Daiyu and wanted to help. So she didn't speak or interrupt, only waited on Daiyu's reaction.

At first Daiyu stood still with an expressionless deadpan demeanor. Her eyes barely twitched as they roved painfully slow over the entire layout as if either committing it to memory or wondering if it was real. After a drawn-out, awkward moment of silence, her eyes began to glisten with tears.

"She remembers," Daiyu said flatly. "She had a garden once, far greater and grander than this one. But it ..."

Daiyu began shaking her head hard enough to send her hair flying about. When she finished, her locks strewn all over her shoulders and face, clinging to her wet cheeks, the look in her eye was different. Gone was the still, disbelieving, taciturn expression, replaced by...

"Alden!" she cried as she collapsed against him and started weeping and wailing like a mother in mourning.

Without immediate words in response, Alden wrapped his long arms about the young woman and pulled her into a close, fraternally affectionate hug. One hand cradled the back of her head, the other rested at her lower back, keeping her in an easily escapable but reassuringly supportive (he hoped) position.

"I'm here, Mei Mei," Alden said, tone gently strong. His gaze hit Kindra's over the top of Daiyu's dark and messy-haired head. "I'm here."

From where she sat at the bottom of the stairs, Kindra slowly got to her feet and approached the pair. She stood almost next to Alden so that Daiyu could see her, and her presence wouldn't be a surprise. "I'm here too, Mei-mei," said Kindra, warm and supportive. She rested her hand gently on Daiyu's shoulder. "I'm here if you want me."

"They're not dead!" Daiyu screamed. "They didn't die! They're only sleeping! She is sleeping too! She wants to die but she doesn't want to go to hell!"

Alden frowned at the volume of that emotional outburst, but didn't let up on their firm cuddle. Hints at Daiyu's mental state were fleeting and full of confusing half-references to some previous trauma, yet the hints remained jarringly similar. Someone had really fucked her up. He wanted to ask who was sleeping, though here and now, this young woman's sanity seemed more important.

"Y'know," the Echo's captain said, voice quietly offering words. "Daiyu, what you do in this Verse makes a difference. You can decide not to go to hell. That's what I believe. If you're still here, still alive? You can change your fate."

Kindra winced at Daiyu's sudden scream but didn't move from her supportive position. She wondered for a moment how prudent it was for Alden to reassure Daiyu she didn't have to go to hell, if that was really the only thing keeping her from suicide.

The things Daiyu was saying… Kindra blinked as realization hit her. Daiyu had been speaking of herself in third person. And yes, thinking back to other interactions with her... it fit. Psychology was a part of companion training, and though she was certainly no clinical psychologist, the term dissociative identity disorder came to mind. Different personality states – Daiyu most of the time, the one speaking to them now, and the sleeper. Maybe more.

Kindra chose her words carefully. "Alden is here to help, he cares about all of you. So do I. We want you-all to live, seek redemption if that's what you need, and find peace within yourself."

"She is gone," Daiyu whispered. "Changed... And then she comes. I... I..." Her voice pitched again. "Wo shì sile háishì zài zuòmèng!" Am I dead or am I sleeping!

"You're alive," said Alden, simply. The machinations of whoever and whatever had once warped the young woman's mind and psyche were unknown to him, the intricacies that Kindra saw not something he understood in any real capacity. He just knew Daiyu had been hurt, broken and emotionally twisted by someone or something in her past. Right now, to Alden, all that mattered was she knew there was support around her, a safe place to be.

"Time and people change us, Mei Mei," the Echo's captain told Daiyu. His tone and his hold was firmly gentle and promised continuity where he suspected she'd had none before. "But time and people can also help us be who we want to be too. You're here. So are we. While we're all alive here together, we can change anything. Just takes time. And time we've got, right?"

Daiyu just shrugged. But while she didn't agree, she did not tremoring.

Wise words for anyone. Kindra's attention shifted from Daiyu to Alden. He could as easily give that advice to any member of his crew as to Daiyu. Or to Kindra. Or to himself. A quote from an Earth-that-was author Octavia Butler came to mind: The only lasting truth is change.

Be it Alden's wisdom or simply his gentle fond support, it seemed that Daiyu had calmed. "Shall we set up the Garden?" asked Kindra.

Daiyu nodded, pulling herself out of the cuddle-puddle in order to look at the garden arrangement up close.

"We need water lines," she said. "Don't worry about the filter. Most waste water is helpful to plant roots."

For his part, Alden allowed Daiyu to go free without noise or reaction bar a raised-eyebrow look to Kindra. He wondered what she might be thinking in that moment since she had that pensive look in her eyes, but he didn't ask. Not right now. There was work to be done. So, standing up, he shifted position to grab the hoses he'd gathered earlier, passed one end of the first to Daiyu and gave her an upward nod.

"Here ya go, Daiyu," he said, hoping he was talking to the lost-lass inside that shape before him. "Hook her up to the pipline there," he indicated the garden end of the about-to-be-water-supply-system. "And I'll open up the flow. It'll be a slow trickle but it'll be enough."

Kindra watched Daiyu and Alden get started, ready to help or simply keep out of their way. She held up her hands. "Let me know if there's anything a pair of willing but unschooled hands can do to help."

"You have already helped," Daiyu said, a faint smile forming at her scarred mouth. "So much."