Peace and Tranquility

Posted on Mon Jun 1st, 2020 @ 5:31pm by Karen Dawson MD & Jacob Lara

Mission: The Milk Run
Location: Jacob's Shuttle
Timeline: After the Cargo Bay Incident

Karen eye-rolled one last time, where all the dick measuring in the hold occurred before she walked toward her usual workstation. Scare tactics worked, sure. But in Karen's eyes, sweet tea and cheese danishes also acquired the same information for most situations. With a lot less stress on involved parties.

Jacob, she found in the short time she knew him, was a kindred spirit. Maybe it had to do with hailing from high-society lives. Where fists and guns rarely were needed. Civilized folk, as it were.

After she returned to the infirmary, Karen installed some new medical diagnostic screens and other equipment. At one point, she could have sworn, while she was downloading new software, that she saw the stowaway walk by without any shoes.

Strange kid, she thought with a concerned shake of the head, before returning to her duties.

Once all the new medical equipment was installed and working, the doctor went back to the cargo hold and up the stairs toward the shuttle hatches.

Karen thought it only right she let Jacob know that she too, was not fond of all the aggressive posturing. So, she knocked respectfully on his door.

"It's Karen," the doc announced. "May I enter?"

Jacob had just gotten fully settled back into his chair, with the poetry book in hand when he heard another knock at the door. Before he could answer he heard a female voice call out. "Yes, come in," he replied, closing the book over his right index finger and waiting for her to come back in. It wasn't until she was already walking in that he remembered he was still sitting there in a shirt that was completely unbuttoned, and by that time it was too late.

"Oh..." Karen wasn't entirely sure if she should be embarrassed by the sight. Instead, she decided to go for a tension-breaker by emitting a small laugh. "Guess I came in a little too fast."

Jacob chuckled, and began buttoning his shirt. "Sorry about that," he said, standing up. "I actually forgot how I was dressed until you were already on your way in. How can I help you?"

"Just wanted to let you know that our resident cavemen finally put the clubs away," Karen spoke apologetically. "Try as I might to instill some calm with all these tense situations, seems Alden likes to intimidate, rather than be rational."

With a sage nod, Jacob agreed. "That seems to be pretty common amongst most men," he replied. "I can definitely appreciate the frustration on your part though," he added.

"Conflict means bloodshed," Karen spoke from grim experience. "If I can prevent a knife being thrown, or a gun being shot then I have to try."

"Well, I guess there's some consolation in the fact that even if you fail, you can still help reduce the chances someone might die," Jacob replied.

That did not console her at all. There were times during the war where she wondered what the point was to having medics, when people kept getting reinjured and started to return to her aid station. The cycle of violence seemed without end.

At least with her clinic, she also treated people who were sick with terrible viruses and needed medication apothecaries and pharmacies would normally charge far beyond their worth. And often too expensive for the poor to buy.

Seeing the impoverished get relief was immediate proof she did some good. But Karen felt less sure, and somewhat depressed when she looked at gang and war-related cases. Where was the line of measure?

With a sadness in her eyes and tone, she shook her head, "I've yet to see definitive proof of that."

Jacob sensed the other woman's distress and immediately went into professional mode. He motioned her to take a seat. "Is there something I can get you? Maybe a drink? Some tea? I think I have some sweets..." he said, hoping one of them would be the right answer to getting her into a relaxed mood.

Karen sat down in the cushy spot beside him to debate her desires.

"I like chilled teas, mostly... And strawberries but you really don't need to spoil me," she insisted with a guilty tone. "That stuff in space is a rare commodity."

"Yes, they can be," Jacob agreed as he searched through the stores of things he'd brought along with him. Pulling out a tall glass from the refrigerator unity he poured some chilled mint tea into it, and dropped a few slices of a fresh strawberry into it. "But, at the same time, they don't last forever. Might as well enjoy them," he added, and brought a large strawberry up to his lips and bit into it, savoring the burst of juicy sweetness. As he moved to take a seat on the end of the bed he held out the small dish of strawberries in case she wanted one as well.

"Ooo..." Karen, for a moment, forgot about her moral dilemma and almost drooled at the fruit.

She bit her bottom lip, fighting the urge, but after only a few seconds, she reached her left hand out to take a strawberry. Which exposed a still-healing wrist wound, caked over by foundation.

"Thanks," she smiled and bit into the juicy piece of fruit. Her right hand, equally caked of foundation, steadied the glass while she indulged in the delight.

Jacob, his perceptions trained, and heightened by her distress, clearly noticed the fact that Karen was trying to hide something on both of her wrists. Leaning closer he reached out, and brushed his finger across the top of her wrist as she held the strawberry up to take a bite. He didn't even seem to be conscious of the fact that he'd done it, his mind somewhat on auto-pilot. "Is this something recent?" he asked, hoping he wasn't stepping over her boundaries.

Karen, for a split second, went to recoil out of being unprepared. But just as quickly, relaxed her arm so he could prod and poke. Only people who knew makeup so well could spot tell-tell signs of coverup work.

"New chief of the Persephone Marshal station didn' like me giving aid to former Independents his junior marshals beat the shǐout of," Karen began to explain. At first, she sounded a bit uneasy but gradually grew more comfortable explaining. "...Got pulled in a lot for questioning at their holding center. My last stay... well... it was meant to force a confession out of me. They were not successful."

The underlying message was clear when she gave Jacob a half-smile, They did this me, but they failed to break me.

Jacob nodded, "I've heard they can be particularly gruesome. I am glad you made it out with just these souvenirs," he said, standing up to move to the small chest on his vanity. He opened the top right drawer and reached inside, pulling out a few glass tubes, looking at them under the light for a few seconds before coming back and handing her one. "Try this, it won't take as much and it will cover them better," he said, hoping she took it as him trying to help.

Sitting back down, but this time choosing to grab one of the cushions and bringing it closer so he could sink down and lean back on the bed, he smiled up at her. "I'm glad they weren't successful also."

"I am too... but I'd be lying if I said this was my choice to be here," Karen confessed before she took a sip of her tea in such a manner as to identify her as someone of high-society. "An associate of my clinic insisted I get off-world and arranged this job for me. Another interrogation and he feared I'd be imprisoned, or I'd come away with needing my wrists amputated... Scars should be completely gone in a few months, so maybe he was right."

"I'm sure they will be," Jacob replied. "And who knows, maybe you were meant to get off-world for a while for more reasons than just that. Sometimes life has a way of putting us just where we need to be." Picking another strawberry he took another juicy bite and held the plate out to Karen again, offering her another of the vibrant red fruits.

"Meeting you is a highlight," Karen admitted with a small blush as she stretched out on her tummy and sat the plate in front of both of them, so they could share the dish. "I left Ariel because I grew tired of all the stuffy, fake pageantry... But there are times I realize - more so in this ship - that I also need a bit of class in my life."

"I can understand that, but at the same time, this all feels a hell of a lot more real," Jacob said, hoping that comment made even a little bit of sense. "Growing up on Poseidon, and then working there since my registration, I came to realize that everything there was a veneer. It was all fake, and made to seem a hell of a lot more glamorous than it really was when seen from the inside. I'm a lot happier out here, earning my own living, away from all that..."

"So what was the first moment that made you realize you were living in a fake world?" Karen asked.

Jacob's eyes focused on something in the middle distance, as his mind began to process the possible answers to the question Finally, he looked back at Karen. "It was about a year after I registered. I was contracted for a night down on Ariel. It was a big high-society to-do, and the woman needed an escort. It wasn't the first time I'd been to Ariel for that reason, but the woman who contracted me was definitely a first. She was a lesbian, and even though no one really cares about that sort of thing, she didn't want anyone at the party to know, so she talked all night about how wonderful I was, how much she loved me, and how satisfied she was with our relationship, all to impress people who couldn't have cared less if they were dead, and who probably didn't believe her anyway."

Now it was her turn to share. She sipped on her tea a bit as she closed her eyes. As if it helped yank the memories from the recesses of her mind.

"By the time I reached my first posting after I was conscripted into the Alliance Army Medical Corps, my CO was disenfranchised with the war. He still believed in the Alliance and what it stood for, but he had seen so much death and violence that he was numb to it, and didn't care about anyone except those that could promote him," Karen began, took another strawberry, and savored it for a few moments.

Once the strawberry was eaten, she continued, "...I saw Alliance soldiers kill surrendered Browncoats. As well as burndown farming lands on the fringe planets to cut-off supplies."

Karen shook her head angrily. "They hated the enemy so much, that the Alliance military was OK performing scorched-earth tactics on farms and villages that had nothing to do with the Independents... Nor did they care to send out medics to the towns of those innocent, injured bystanders."

"There is a lot lacking when it comes to the Alliance, and the tactics they use to accomplish their goals," Jacob said. No one could really deny that. They may have created a sense of peace, and prosperity in the Core Worlds, where there wasn't really any resistance, but outside, on the fringes, he'd heard stories that had nearly given him nightmares. Those stories usually told to him by clients, he tried desperately to keep compartmentalized far back in his mind where they couldn't trouble him. "It is a hopeful thing, though, that you didn't let the horrors temper your desire to do good in this world. Many people did, and we are all worse off for it."

"Companions like you, make it easier to bear," Karen equally insisted. "Had a few I would cuddle with on Persephone, after a hard surgical case... Bet that must be hard too. Knowing when you have a client or a friend."

Jacob gave her a thoughtful look. Not many people were that insightful, honestly. Most just assumed his life was all fun and games because they saw him from an outside point of view. "You are one of the few I've met that get that," he replied. "It can be incredibly difficult. Outside of the Guild House I pretty much stopped trying to build friendships and relationships, because no one could ever get past the job. Either they wanted to hire my services, or they judged me, and then, when I would think I was building a friendship, it would turn awkward, because they'd get confused and start asking if they needed to be paying for my time..."

Karen smiled and held her hand out to shake his, "Well... you have a new friendship to work on with me, if it helps. But if you want me to pay for cuddles when I need them, I do not mind paying."

Jacob chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind, but I am pretty sure I'll have plenty of business from the places we travel."

"Speaking of business," Karen interjected as if something suddenly dawned on her. "If you need any refills on drugs, let me know ahead of time. I can order them if the ship doesn't have 'em."

"Thank you," Jacob replied. He had a full supply of standard-issue inoculations, but knowing he had someone who could help him get more, or stronger meds if he needed anything was definitely a boon. "I shouldn't need to ask for that often, the Guild Houses tend to keep us pretty well stocked if we just ask. But it's nice to know I have that safety-net."

"Maybe next time I visit, I'll bring my violin," Karen promised. "One thing about Ariel I miss is the music... Though while I play the classics, I adore the Old Earth Celtic folk toons more."

"I would like that," Jacob said with genuine enthusiasm. "I tried very hard to learn music, we are all supposed to do so, but I just never could get the hang of it. Haven't heard any real playing some in quite some time now."

"There are other forms of fine arts I'm sure you're great at," Karen smiled, suddenly curious about that aspect.

"I write poetry, and I like to paint," Jacob replied. "Also, I do traditional Chinese needlepoint," he added, waving his hand towards a framed piece of brilliant white cloth on which he'd stitched vibrantly colored koi swimming in a pool of blue water.

"You ever get the time to paint out here in space?" Karen asked with excitement.

"I will let you know, this is the first time I've ever really spent a long stretch of time off-world. So far, though, no, I haven't," he admitted with a chuckle.

"Do you like being out here in space? Or is this just a means to an end for your career?" Karen inquired before she took another bite of her strawberry.

"No, it's definitely not a means to an end," Jacob admitted. "In fact, I'd make far more on Ariel or Poseidon than I'm likely to make on a lot of the places we are likely to set down. I just wanted to see what it was like out here, explore more of the Verse, and see how people actually lived outside the "perfect" worlds of the Core."

"When I was a kid, I loved the idea of exploring the stars," Karen admitted with a sheepish grin. "Sadly, what I did see during the war, was more or less ravished by artillery and firebombs... I suppose the war took away the enthusiasm of visiting new places from me. So I'm glad one of us is excited for an adventure."

Jacob felt bad for Karen, she had seen so much that had damaged her emotionally. She'd seen things he couldn't even begin to imagine having to process. A sudden urge to comfort her came over him, moving from his seated position he crawled onto the bed, laying his body along the bed as well, facing her over the small plate of strawberries. Propping his head on his hand, he gazed into her eyes and smiled gently. He didn't sense any sensual attraction from her, so he definitely wasn't going for anything intimate in that direction, but he felt like she needed closeness, and comforting. "Do you need to talk about it all? he asked, his voice low and soft.

Karen smiled at his attempt to make her comfortable. Which it did. She took a sip of her tea, let her taste buds revel in the refreshing mint before she swallowed ever so slowly.

When she thought back on Jacob's question. She allowed herself a few tears to flow. Not because she was sad. Though she certainly was depressed, anytime she went down that road. Oh no... She was touched.

So many people asked if she Wanted to talk about it. For which she would always decline abruptly. He asked if she Needed to talk about it. For a moment, she bit her lower lip before she plucked another strawberry.

"I do need to talk about it, on occasion," Karen admitted as she looked into his eyes. Her's were watery but thankful. "I never fired a weapon in the war... A lot of wounded soldiers assumed the medical units close to the frontlines didn't really suffer. We had clean beds, full bellies, and were pampered... Which was true, but that's only because we saw a lot of carnage. Sometimes for weeks on end."

Karen's hands began to tremor at the amount of imagery she was seeing from her war experiences. Compartmentalizing those memories worked most of the time when she wanted to present herself as a cheerful professional. But not now. She had to close her eyes for a second to clear her mind of all the missing body parts, putrid, shot-up bowels, and half-blown faces.

Reaching his left hand up, palm upwards, fingers slightly curled Jacob looked up at her through his lashes. "Take all the time you need..." he said, softly, and soothingly as he watched the tears course down her cheeks, and the look of pain in her eyes deepen.

Karen sniffled a bit when she started to talk again. "I know I'm no longer at those aid stations... But sometimes a young face with certain types of wounds bring me back to a time where my CO knew I wasn't a doctor but made me do procedures I had no business doing. And even when I got much better with those procedures, I still felt helpless when I couldn't save all those young men and women."

Jacob rubbed his thumb gently across the back of Karen's hand, hoping the physical contact would help her. Sometimes that was all it took, just that little feeling of connection. "That sounds horrible, and I can see why it would make you feel that way," he said. He couldn't even imagine being in that situation. It sounded beyond horrifying, and he could genuinely admit he might not have been able to handle it. The misplaced feelings of guilt and anger would likely have been strong enough to consume him if he'd had to do the things she was speaking of.

"I think I'd run for it if ever there is another war," Karen admitted with a guilty voice while she leaned into his hand as if wanting to be hugged. "As much as the war made me a good trauma doctor, I do not wish to be pulled into another... Once, during the war, it took me an hour to realize there was no blood on my hands when I was at a scrub sink washing out."

Reaching out Jacob placed the plate on a small table and then pulled himself closer, slipping his arm under Karen's neck and bringing her head to rest on his chest. Everything about her had been crying out for comfort, and it was a call he just couldn't resist. His hand came up to stroke her hair, while he pressed his face against the top of her head, letting his warmth, and his presence soothe her. "I can't say I'd blame you for running away, that's for sure," he offered, his voice almost a whisper so as to be as soothing to her as possible.

Like a kitten wanting to be pet, she allowed herself to be engulfed and her hair stroked. To cry a cry that had been held in a long while.

"I both love and hate what I do," Karen confessed, sniffed a couple of times, and gave a half-smile. "I love making a difference, but I hate it when I lose patients."

Jacob continued to stroke her hair, his other arm wrapping around her and pulling her closer, making sure she felt secure. He could feel her trembling as she tried to process the torrent of emotions that were flooding through her. "I know, and never forget that you do make a difference," he offered, not wanting to interrupt her while she processed.

Karen did find a lot of comfort in those words. It was never accolades or money she wanted when she became a surgeon. Just being appreciated. The doctor clung to those words as hard as Jacob clung to her and allowed the good of the moment to wash away her pain.

The dreams would likely return for a bit, but that was something to tackle later. For the moment, she took in the peaceful moment and alas, spoke, "Thank you, Jacob."

At her words of thanks, Jacob hugged Karen a little tighter. "You are very welcome," He said, still speaking softly.